TontoandFriends.com

I came across the following preview for an upcoming James Frey memoir, "A Millioner Little Pieces" by James Frey. I present it for your enjoyment. - Tonto ---------------------- Traveling by donkey, on our way to Kathmandu, Egypt to be trained in Japanese Kung Fu. It’s the final step in my addiction self-cure thing I’m doing. After our lesson, we will traverse snowy mountains in search of the elusive Yeti. Legend has it, if you win a Kung Fu fight against a Yeti, you are officially cured from addiction. In addition, if you keep the Yeti’s skull, you can take as many drugs as you want and not get hooked. I was covered in vomit. I guess you could say I was in A Million Little Pieces...correction: A Millioner Little Pieces. Suddenly, a huge explosion. Black helicopter gun ships descend from all directions, surrounding our party. “Oh fuck,” yelled a Buddhist monk. It was the first time he had spoken in forty two years. A hail of bullets rained down. Massive rounds tore through everyone around me, turning them into mix race chutney. The blood of my companions mixed with the vomit on my shirt which was so disturbing that I re-vomited on my shirt. A mental note is made to avoid future purchases of plain white shirts. Now, it was my friends who were literally in A Million Little Pieces. Looks like my Kung-Fu lesson came earlier than expected. I‘d taken down helicopter gun ships before, but never this many. I had to do something I’ve had no trouble doing in the past. It was time to get creative. That’s when the aliens came. - James Frey is the greatest living human author ever. His struggles are harder than yours. That's why he writes, and that's why you'll read.