TontoandFriends.com

By Bustamante That history… she can sure be a bitch, can’t she? Telling you what to do. Bossing you around. She’s so damn preachy too. Blah, blah, blah… shut up, right? That’s what many think, but whereas history may be a bitch, ego can sure be a sum’bitch. As we all know, history repeats itself. No more so in ever in history than on today 10/11. If we’d only taken the time to look back on the events of this day, we could have changed the course of history. We didn’t. Somewhere, off in the distance, Ms. History is nagging us, saying she told us so. 10/11 is no longer an American day. It’s a global day where we can look back an see where we went wrong… and see if it’s not too late to fix it! 7. 1582 – The original Missing in Action (and no, not starring Chuck Norris). Thanks to the implementation of the Gregorian Calendar, 10/11 does not exist in this year in many parts of Europe! Metropolitan centers of the Old World such as Italy, Spain, Portugal, and Poland, went from 10/10 right to 10/12. What about the people who celebrated birthdays, or anniversaries that day? Future Implication: The first recorded technological glitch in history. Technology might make our world efficient, but at what cost? The loss of time itself? What about people who were born that day? Do they not exist? They must not, according to the Gregorians! At what point do we accept technological progress over human lives? 6. 1776 – The Battle of Valcour Island. A pivotal sea battle in the American Revolution saw the British naval fleet defeat the American rebels who were under the leadership of future traitor Benny Arnold. While the battle was a loss for the freedom fighters, it proved to be a strategic loss for the Britsh Empire, as the Americans were able to prepare for the battle of New York. Future Implication: America loses her innocence and has been jaded ever since! 5. 1975 – Saturday Night Live debuts. A new standard of short film/sketch comedy is introduced to the masses and becomes a cultural torch-bearer. Future Implication: Dumbing down of the masses. Mediocrity becomes the new excellent. 4. 1809 - Death of Meriwether Lewis. Famed explorer Meriwether Lewis died under mysterious circumstances while partying in a local Nashville tavern. Some say suicide, while say that Lewis was murdered Future Implication: The establishment and acceptance of the cover-up murder/suicide as popularized in the 20th century. Why? Who knows? Jealousy between him and William Clark? Perhaps a love affair involving Sacagawea? 3. 1890 - Foundation of The Daughters of The American Revolution. I’m not really sure what they do other than being a bunch of really old women with a lot of time on their hands who like to procrastinate. Future Implication: Special interest groups of all kinds begin to form, linking themselves to politicians and pillaging the American people of their tax money. Corruption is invented! 2. 1910 – Teddy Roosevelt becomes the first US President to fly in an airplane. The setting was St. Louis. Roosevelt spends 240 seconds airborne inside a Wright Brothers' custom plane. Future Implications: Weight restrictions on all commercial and private vehicles put into place. Lunar expedition (and thus the Cold War) are first discussed! 1. 1939 - Einstein communicates with FDR about the atom bomb. Actually, no need for further description needed. Future Implications: The human race jumps the shark. - Bustamante is the current Tennis instructor at a swanky Newport Beach, Ca. country club/yacht club. Not much is known about Bustamante except that he taught junior high math for a period of time in the 80’s, and that he’s pretty phenomenal with a hackysack. He was good enough to go pro, but corporate sponsorship just wasn’t there for the sport to get off the ground in the mid 70’s.