Comment on this article HERE.
A lot of the time, I don’t have much to do on the weekend. Not always by choice, but sometimes, I just need a break. Tontoandfriends.com closes up shop and the writing staff doesn’t contact me unless they need something. Usually bail money (Vans, Linus), or a few bucks (Slocomb).
Once in a while I’m woke up at 2 AM by someone sobbing over the phone asking if I’ll come over. She always hangs up before she gives me her name an address, though I have my suspicions…
Anyway, Saturday night rolls around and I feel like getting my laugh on, if you will. Thankfully, my Netflix subscription had just the thing for me - Family Guy: Live in Las Vegas.
Man, I love me some Family Guy and Netflix must know that because on Thursday, I logged in and it was the first thing they recommended for me. I added it to my queue and life The Jeffersons, moved it on up to the top of my queue.
Saturday night was setting up to be a pretty awesome evening: not only were fights on (which I’ll review tomorrow for you), but I was going to end the evening with Family Guy.
One Problem: Family Guy: Live in Las Vegas is the worst DVD in history! It wasn't until later that I discovered that it was a DVD that came with the CD of the same name.
It wouldn't have killed Netflix to mention that little factoid in their description.
Like left hooks from Larry Holmes, let me count the many ways this “DVD” put me down for the count:
1. Length – It’s 17 freaking minutes long! That’s it. DVDs are meant to hold hours of content and they can’t even throw an episode length worth of footage on the disc?!
2. Content – The musical numbers on Family Guy are among the best parts of the show. The “highlight” of the DVD is a music video with Stewie doing a rap number.
Here’s a good Family Guy number:
What’s on that DVD is pure horror.
But at least there’s an interview with Family Guy creator, Seth McFarlane, right?
All you get is five minutes of him saying “uh” every other word. I would understand if he’d gone 15 rounds with Holmes – instead, it’s he’s just bored and looks like he would rather be elsewhere.
We’re “treated” to him lazily explaining how great this CD will be and he does a line or two of Peter’s voice. Yippie.
So between the video and the interview, that’s most of the DVD… oh wait, what about the behind the scenes footage?!
It’s there, but call me crazy, call me punch drunk, but a behind on the scenes on a video based on a cartoon is stupid because the cartoon, you know, the part that got me interested, is nowhere to be found.
If I cared about how some video ho liked performing with Stewie I’d… well, wait, I don’t care. Why would anybody?
And the grand finale. The day-new-mont. The main event – A commercial for American Dad.
I haven’t been this disappointed since back when I showed up at the Topeka City Fair and found out I was boxing a bear instead of a human being. The bear won a three round decision. It wasn’t sanctioned, so it’s not on my record.
I won $1,500, which translates into $50 per stitch I needed...
Length and Content. I guess it’s only a 1 – 2 punch. But still, it’s enough to knock someone out.
But hey, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve been let down by late night entertainment…
- Tonto Balboa, real name unknown, is a former prizefighter with a record of 48-10. He is best known for getting his ass royally whupped by Larry Holmes in Madison Square Garden. Since then, Balboa has toured the country as a salesman, attempting to cash in on his 1/64th Native American heritage, by selling Indian artifacts. He is currently the editor and chief (after all, he Native American) of Tonto and Friends.
NOTE: If you liked this article, check out our Film Review Archives, our Music Column Archive, or our fancy schmancy Ask a Pirate Archive!!!
0 comments:
Post a Comment