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I know economics.
I run a video store.
You want something from me, you have to pay. No matter if it’s Treasure of the Sierra Madre (5 stars) or Gladiator (1 star), you’re paying me $1.99 per movie. Now if you pay for two and it’s M-Th, I’ll throw in a third for free. I’m good like that.
If you want an adult film, it’s $3.99. Look, you want to squeeze one off in your futon and I want four bucks, so it seems to me that we have a deal.
Now if you don’t bring those back on time, the price goes up.
The later you are, the more you pay me. If you think you can just not return the films and get them for free, not only will I charge the fuck out of your credit card, but if I see you out somewhere, there’s a very good chance that I’ll end up in jail again for a few days.
Now you have broken eye socket, I’m locked up for the weekend, the store is closed so I’m losing out on cash. Got it? That’s capitalism!
More or less, that’s the idea of the documentary/85 minute commercial I.O.U.S.A. If you don't pay for your shit, you’re fucked and you’re fucking everyone else.
You think owing my store $35 for not returning Crash (1 star) is a pain in the ass, imagine being in the hole almost $9 trillion. That’s precisely the problem Americans find themselves in. Though, the number isn't as bad as it may seem, that's only about $30,000 per person... even your ratty little kids.
In a nutshell, we spend more than we make, so we’re broke. And no one really seems to care because we can borrow money from places like China, so it’s all good, right? According to the film, which is backed with things like facts and common sense, we’re only going to continue to get fucked harder than even the most durable of stars in my $3.99 films.
The movie lays it down thick with experts, including the favorite of the young Republicans/Democrats/Independents/Thinkers/Non-Thinkers, Ron Paul, all basically saying the same thing: If something isn’t done soon, it’s all over for the US.
Here’s where the movie becomes a commercial – it does a great job of explaining the problem in simple terms for simple people and pointing out how the government plunged us like a broken toilet at a truck stop in Paduka, Kentucky, but it skirts around placing a good part of the blame where it belongs: right around the neck of you, me (not really me, but I’m making a point), and everyone else in the country.
Sure, they tell us to vote, but how about screaming in our ears, “Stop being so fucking stupid, you fat piece of shit!!!” Being obnoxiously stupid stops being a redeeming personality trait by 10th grade, yet we have a nation of people who proudly wear that badge their whole life. As long as taxes are cut, people don’t seem to care about anything else. It’s that kind of brazen ignorance that will have us speaking Mandarin in thirty years.
I hate taxes as much as your average star of such films as Blade (2 stars), Major League (2.5 stars), and White Men Can’t Jump (3 stars), but I’m also a big fan of things like roads, education, and overall infrastructure, so you know, freedom isn’t free or something.
And yes, the fat and unhealthy people are part of the problem too. The single biggest expense our government has, will always have, and will continue to grow to the point to where we can’t sustain it, is health care and entitlement programs like medicare.
This part is pretty simple… do your best to stay healthy, not live on junk food for your whole life and you won’t need to go see the doctor as much as your 300lb. grandma does. Thus, you're helping the country.
So why don’t the filmmakers call out the American people on their part of the blame and leave you with a generic “get involved” message?
Because they have something to sell you!!!
The main players in the film are on tour with their “Fiscal Wake-Up Tour” and their betting that if you see the movie, you’ll come out to see them on tour and maybe you’ll stop at the merch table too!
Ending the very serious subject matter of the film with a final sales pitch cheapens the whole message of the film. Was this an infomercial? Are these guys just trying to sell tickets? I’m sure they’re genuine with their message, but the presentation left me asking myself if I just got tricked…
Whew… look at me giving a crap. Now I gotta go listen to Frankechrist for the rest of the day.
2.5 stars for I.O.U.S.A. (Typing those periods is a pain in the ass.)
- Vans McCoy was knocked out at a Dead Kennedys show in the early 80’s and has been a cultural expert ever since. He has spent time in several small bands over the years. He sang for The Magnificent Cox, played bass in Manson’s Ranchers, and was lead guitarist for Televised Execution. He’s spent 347 days in local jails throughout the country and is now gainfully employed managing a local video store.
NOTE: If you liked this review, we've got a whole Film Article Section here. If the politics in the piece drive you to want more, allow us to offer the Political Article Archive. If you're just looking for advice on all things non-political, Melvin the Pirate is here to help with our Ask a Pirate Archive!!!
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