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I've been toiling through the ranks of mixed martial arts journalists for several months now with tontoandfriends.com.
As more and more mainstream media outlets begin to cover mixed martial arts, it's only natural that said mainstream media outlets have begun to put their own spin on mixed martial arts coverage. It's to be expected that as there will be a learning curve as new journalists and news outlets become more and more familiar with the sport.
As a former heavyweight boxer and title contender, the learning curve has been much easier for myself to navigate around. For others... it been far more difficult.
For example, media giant FOX News has discovered a trend in MMA that an anonymous source from within new organization has described as, "un-fucking-believable."
For years, the MMA pound-for-pound rankings have been one of the most hotly discussed and debated issues in the sport. Everyone has their opinion and, obviously, anyone who disagrees is a total moron.
That said, there's been one common denominator that MMA writers have all been able to agree on: the lists have been largely dominated by non-US fighters such Anderson Silva, Georges St. Pierre, Mauricio "Shogun" Rua, Wanderlei Sivaand most notably, Russian heavyweight king, Fedor Emilianenko.
According to many at Fox News, something's missing: Americans.
"This just goes on to confirm an anti-American liberal bias in the media," says Sandy Wilburn, FOX News Public Relations VP. "It's completely ridiculous that no Americans are on the top of that list. After all, UFC was invented in America!"
It should be noted that American fighter, and current UFC lightweight champion, B.J. Penn is often considered one of the top MMA fighters on the planet.
"You know, that's not quite good enough for us," said Wilburn on a telephone press conference. "Look at the facts, Mr. Penn is from Hawaii. Sure, that's technically considered America, but it's not even connected to the United Sates. It's hard for me to consider something to be America if I can't drive there in my Explorer."
The Fox News sporting staff contends that as Americans lead the charge in spreading democracy across the world, they also lead the charge in MMA as well.
"Once again, I think it's a fair and balanced approach that's needed with this stuff," says Bill O'Reilly. "When you look at these things with, and here's the key that the mainstream media forgets, when you look at them without any international bias, the ball lands clearly on the side of the Americans in this case. I mean, come on, who ever heard of a Canadian being a good fighter, huh? Name me one Canadian boxer who was worth damn? Same goes with this other stuff they do in a cage."
Even Sean Hannity, the golden boy of Fox, felt compelled to discuss the topic.
"Clearly, this is a blatant case of athletic affirmative action," Hannity said. "This Russian guy, this Fedor whatever... it's so clear that he doesn't deserve to be called the best fighter in the world, he doesn't even have stomach muscles. I can guarantee you that if it was an American with no abs, they would be called fat, lazy, out of shape, and so... but when it's a socialist, they're considered the best in the world."
- Tonto Balboa, real name unknown, is a former prizefighter with a record of 48-10. He is best known for getting his ass royally whupped by Larry Holmes in Madison Square Garden. Since then, Balboa has toured the country as a salesman, attempting to cash in on his 1/64th Native American heritage, by selling Indian artifacts. He is currently the editor and chief (after all, he Native American) of Tonto and Friends.
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